Looking back

Where to start.

It’s been a wild and crazy journey thus far. I intended to blog weekly but life happens, you  know? I started this blog roughly around the time I began my nursing career. A lot of change was happening that I didn’t realize how negatively I was impacted.

I figured ICU nursing was for me. All I wanted to do was be an ICU nurse – nothing else mattered, and that was the problem that led me this revelation. I put my career before my happiness, which ended up downspiraling into my marriage and friendships.

I focused so much on how to be the perfect nurse, that I ended up losing myself in the process. I never took a step back to analyze what I was doing or how it was affecting my self as a whole. So, I left the ICU and decided perhaps this wasn’t where I was supposed to be at the time. I decided to delve into circulating the Operating Room.

I found peace in my new role as a circulating nurse. I so desperately wanted to find my niche that I found myself in the same conundrum as I did before. I mean who doesn’t want to be the best at their job? I was missing something, a void I felt deep within me. I had this trajectory of how I wanted everything to go. Start nurse practioner school in 2019, finish, and then start a family in my 30’s. I had these expectations for  myself on what I thought “success” really entailed that I was blinded and in my own reality.

I found that “success” is being successful in yourself. What have you done for yourself to make life more successful, fulfilling, whole. That was the question I asked myself that allowed me to see how skewed my mindset was.

The greatest accomplishment (or success) I’ve had thus far is becoming a mom. I have truly been challenged in learning how to be the best mom for my child. Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done, yet it has been the most rewarding experience. This is my success.

In the pursuit of happiness and health,

Nicole

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